


Two Weeks in Paris

by Gayandkindaokay



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Emily is a lesbian, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heartache, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jemily - Freeform, No Will or Henry, Repressed Feelings, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:33:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25121707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayandkindaokay/pseuds/Gayandkindaokay
Summary: This story takes place right after Emily has to fake her death after Doyle. Since Emily is baldy injured Hotch agrees to let JJ stay in Paris with Emily for the first two weeks to take care of her and help her adjust. However, JJ finally admits to herself while the team was searching for Emily that she is in love with her. After the plan is made to fake Emily's death, JJ is crushed that she will never get the chance to tell Emily her true feelings and have the "happily ever after" she always fantasized about with the brunette. And now she has to spend two weeks saying goodbye to the woman she loves in one of the most romantic cities in the world. There will be a lot of heartbreak but it will be balanced with a lot of heartwarming times as well.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	1. The Plan

Hotch was tearing up, Emily was crying, but JJ.. well JJ was sobbing and barely breathing as she looked at the brunette woman laying in the hospital bed. The three of them knew what had to be done and stoic Hotch was the first to finally break the silence. “Strauss said she can have the new passport ready by the end of the hour and the jet is on standby to take you to Paris so you will not be detected by airport security”... “Is there a name you would like to go by once you get there?”. “She can’t just pretend to be a whole other person.. She can’t just forget she’s Emily!” JJ protested. “Now that Doyle knows her true identity its for the best” Hotch responded in a tone that revealed he partially agreed with JJ but knew he shouldn’t. “I would like my first name to be Lilly” Emily said confidently with a half smile. “That’s a good idea because its similar to Emily and won’t feel too strange” said Hotch. “Yah… sure… that’s why I thought of Lilly” responded Emily while giving a longing glance at JJ but quickly turning away. Emily wanted to be named Lilly for a much more personal reason but not one that she was willing to confess from a hospital bed during plans to fake her death. She was relieved that Hotch came up with a different explanation than the truth so there would be no discourse on the name. “I will let Strauss know immediately” Hotch replied with a forced half smile before turning to face JJ. “Strauss has also agreed to allow you to stay with Emily.. I mean Lilly.. the first two weeks in Paris so you can monitor her abdominal wound and help her adjust”. JJ simultaneously let out a sigh of relief while also wincing at a pain in her chest. She knew she didn’t want to say goodbye to Emily in a sterile hospital room but she wasn’t sure if maybe just ripping off the bandaid and saying goodbye tonight would be better for her broken heart. But she loved Emily, in a way that Emily would never understand, and she would be willing to do anything for the woman even if it meant shattering her own heart in the process. She had been burying her true feelings for Emily for years but the moment the team realized she had been kidnapped was the moment she could no longer push down the feelings for her and they all came to the surface. As the team worked endlessly to save Emily she spent every spare moment imagining every way possible in which she could confess her true romantic feelings to her. She contemplated everything from blurting out her feelings the moment they found her, taking her somewhere romantic and giving her a hand written letter, to something cheesy and romantic like showing up at her apartment with a boombox. But in the end no matter what she decided it didn’t matter, she knew as soon as they found Emily bleeding at Doyle’s headquarters she would never get the chance. When Hotch initially told her the plan to hide Emily in Paris and fake her death the part of her that never wanted Emily to suffer again because she loved her immediately agreed while the part of her that wanted to spend her life with Emily because she loved her silently screamed inside her head. “I need to go break the news to the team” Hotch announced, beginning to tear up again. “The SUV is waiting outside the emergency exit to take you two to the airport”. “Thank you for everything you have done for me Aaron” Emily reponsed starting to cry again. And after squeezing her hand tightly Hotch left the hospital room and said goodbye to Emily for the last time. “I guess that’s our cue to leave JJ” said Emily as she stood up and grabbed her go bag. As the two women headed out the back exit Emily grabbed JJs with her free hand tightly prompting JJ to start sobbing again.


	2. The Jet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the hospital, Emily and JJ embark on the long plane ride to Paris.

The women remained silent on the car ride to the airport from the hospital, neither woman knowing what exactly to say, but their hands remained clasped the entire time. JJ insisted Emily stay in the SUV so she could help her out while their driver carried their bags into the jet. When JJ opened Emily’s door she immediately saw the worried look on her face. “Even though I’ve been on the jet a million times, I forgot how steep the steps are” said Emily, realizing how much worry JJ could read on her face. “Don’t worry I can help you” JJ responded with a half smile as Emily stood up and they started to walk towards the stairs. When they got to the first step Emily snuggly wrapped her arm around JJ’s shoulder and asked “is this okay?”. JJ nodded, not wanting to speak in fear that her voice would reveal how nice it felt to have Emily’s arm around her shoulder. Emily always wondered what it would be like to hold JJ and as soon as she put her arm around the blonde her familiar, beautiful perfume enticed her senses. Emily had loved JJ from the day that she met her. Emily had dated multiple women since college but none of them came close to captivating her as much as JJ. Her beautiful eyes, soft golden locks, and smile… fuck her smile made her melt almost every morning when JJ would great her as they grabbed their morning coffee. After entering the jet JJ helped Emily onto the couch and started to walk towards the seat across from the couch when Emily blurted out “sit with me”. JJ turned back to face Emily whos expression was needy but quickly turned blank when she realized what she had said. “Of course, I will grab a blanket because you need to rest”. Emily didn’t realize it was possible to say “fuck” in her head that many times in such a short amount of time as JJ went to grab a blanket and returned. As soon as JJ sat down right next to her and spread the blanket across the two of them as their thighs touched Emily knew for a fact she had screwed up. She had always dreamed of the day she would cuddle up next to JJ, but she imagined it as them watching movies and eating take out in their shared apartment with Sergio as girlfriends. Not like this, not as they were taking off to Paris together when only one of them would be returning. But the damage was already done, and she decided that she would make the most of the last few days she had with the love of her life and curl up into JJ. 

Flying on the jet without the rest of the team seemed eerie and JJ couldn’t help herself from relishing in this intimate alone time with Emily together on the couch. The two women were the best of friends and had spent several nights together at bars, going to art museums, trying new restaurants but had never been this close physically for this long. Sure Emily would hug JJ when they greeted each other but that was as far as their physical contact went. JJ knew Emily was a lesbian as she openly discussed her dating life especially after a few cocktails. JJ always reassured Emily that she was completely comfortable with her best friend’s sexuality and did not feel uncomfortable sitting close to her on the couch when they had movie nights and things like that but Emily always refused. JJ eventually found out her defensiveness was because of her homophobic college friends. After a couple too many glasses of wine Emily opened up about how her female college friends freaked out when she came out to them and accused her of coming onto them for simply interacting as close female friends do. In all of the pictures of their friend group the girls would be wrapping their arms around each other while Emily stood off to the side. Eventually they stopped talking to her all together after they realized being a lesbian wasn’t a phase. Emily admitted that this was why she was much closer to Spencer and Morgan her first few months at the BAU. She had given up on having close female friends, especially close straight female friends, until she met JJ. Thinking about the way Emily’s college friends made her so scared to show affection made her angry and she could feel her hand that was on the opposite side of Emily tense into a fist. Physical touch was one of Emily’s primary love languages and she constantly would place a hand on Rossi’s shoulder when she could tell her was antagonized by writers block, run her fingers through Spencer’s hair when his mom’s nurses called to say she wasn’t doing well, and let Morgan rest his head on her shoulder during long flights, but she never touched JJ. It took Emily being abducted and tortured to finally let herself find comfort in holding JJ and the thought made her begin to cry. Luckily Emily had fallen asleep in JJ’s lap so she didn’t have to explain her tears. JJ felt her chest tighten up and the urge to sob again and forced herself to reminisce on all the amazing times she had spent with such a wonderful woman to prevent a panic attack.

Emily woke up in JJ’s lap to her gently stroking her hair. When she began to open her eyes she saw JJ smiling down at her looking beautiful as ever. The light from the sunrise through the cracked windows of the plane haloed around her face radiantly making her appear absolutely angelic. For a moment Emily thought Doyle had killed her and this was all a dream but she came back to reality when JJ began to speak, “Goodmorning Emily, we are almost to Paris, how did you sleep?”. “I am so sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you” Emily responded almost frantically trying to sit up as fast as possible. JJ looked upset when she did this, and of course she was upset, her lesbian friend completely invaded her personal space by sleeping in her lap and made her feel uncomfortable. “It’s fine Em, you looked comfortable and I’ve always wanted a weighted blanket” JJ teased. Emily was surprised JJ wasn’t upset with her and wondered why she looked so disappointed the few seconds prior. Normally Emily would try to profile the situation but she was in too much pain to concentrate and let it go. After grabbing the both of them coffee JJ pulled Emily back into her arms. At first Emily wanted to break free because she felt extremely uneasy with physical contact with women she was not dating but JJ’s touch was so comforting and the past couple of days had been so traumatic she let herself be held. The women spent the rest of the plane ride joking around, poking fun at each other, and gossiping as they normally did during girl time. After the plane landed the mood became much more somber as the reality of the situation could no longer be ignored or distracted from. They landed in Paris where Emily would be hiding indefinitely.


	3. Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and JJ arrive in Paris and get to the hotel

A black SUV was waiting for the women as soon as they exited the jet. “I guess Hotch wanted me to feel right at home” Emily laughed as they approached the jet and JJ laughed with her. The driver loaded their bags into the trunk and Emily immediately reached for the AUX cord. JJ laughed again, glad that Emily was still feeling like herself despite the situation. Emily always insisted on being DJ regardless of who was in the car. Not that JJ was complaining, Emily had the best and most diverse taste in music of anyone she had ever met. The times the two women had bolted out the lyrics to a song in the car much to the frustration of the other team members were some of her favorite memories with Emily. JJ distinctly remembers one time Emily insisted on playing some “gay music for the straights” and how much the lyrics of one particular song completely related to her feelings for Emily. She always wanted to ask Emily for the name of that song but didn’t want Emily to become suspicious as to why. When the car began to head towards their destination Emily stuck her head towards the driver and stated “I promise I will tip very well, me and my friend have had a horrible week and need to jam out”. The driver just laughed and replied “no problem”. “I know this is super cheesy, but I couldn’t bring you to Paris for the first time and NOT play this song”. Emily turned up the volume and the song “Paris” by the Chainsmokers started to play through the speakers and the women immediately began to sing along. Emily made an effort to play JJs favorite songs the 45 minute car ride to their hotel. Remembering small things like what songs and artists people enjoy was one of the many ways Emily showed the people around her that she cared. Damn, JJ was really going to miss that about Emily. The first few songs JJ almost felt guilty about singing along in their current situation but after a while she let herself be happy. She was in Paris for the first time with the love of her life, well technically just her friend, and she deserved to experience some form of happiness before her life was ruined in fourteen short days. 

The hotel was beautiful and definitely not what Emily or JJ was expecting. The bureau was cheap when it came to their sleeping arrangements during cases, often forcing three of them in one room taking turns on the couch. The architecture was beautiful brick contrasted with pink tinted windows surrounded by flowers. “Damn did we get dropped off at the wrong place?” Emily asked JJ. “The name of this hotel matches up to the name Hotch texted me when we landed so fortunately for us, no” JJ smiled. JJ was even more pleasantly surprised by Emily grabbing her hand to lead her into the hotel than she was by seeing the hotel itself. Once they received the key for “Lilly’s room” the women entered into the elevator and were pleasantly surprised again to find out they were staying on the top floor. Their jaws almost hit the floor when they entered the room for the first time. The room was even prettier than the hotel itself and had a balcony with a perfect view of the streets of Paris. Emily’s giddiness was immediately shut off when she realized there was only one king sized bed, not two queens like she expected. “Shit, where are you going to sleep?” Emily asked, “Hotch must have made the reservation before it was decided you were coming with me”. “It’s okay Emily the bed is huge and this room is beautiful”. “Are you not going to be uncomfortable?” Emily said sadly. “Em, you’re my best friend” “Your gay best friend JJ” “Emily, I’ve literally had to share a bed with Morgan before on a case before its fine. And I’ve always told you that your sexuality does not affect that you are still my best friend. My other female friends sleep in my bed when they stay over all the time. It will be fun and we can watch movies in bed together”. “Okay…” Emily conceded but JJ felt like she needed to continue. “I actually really enjoyed cuddling on the plane last night, I don’t think I would have been able to sleep without you on top of me”. “Really?” Emily remarked, “I uh.. I uh liked that as well”. “Then staying in this amazing room it is” JJ smiled. Emily let herself smile. She really did want to stay in the room with JJ, share a bed with JJ, but she would need to keep her romantic feelings buried deep down and under control. “Are you hungry?” JJ asked but when she looked up Emily was already reading the room service menu. “Sometimes I feel like we can read each other’s minds JJ”. JJ smirked and sat down beside her to read the menu with her while praying that wasn’t actually the case. If that were the case Emily would hear JJ fantasizing about straddling her on top of the luxurious bed.


	4. 13 Days Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ and Emily wake up in their hotel room for the first time. 13 days remain until JJ would be leaving Paris without Emily.

Emily and JJ fell asleep shortly after eating dinner in the hotel room. Although JJ slept well on the flight with Emily in her lap, she was extremely jet lagged and exhausted from the flight. Not to mention the emotional rollercoaster from the past 48 hours. When JJ awoke the next morning she realized they had slept for almost 14 hours. She shouldn’t be tired but she still was tired both physically and mentally. Emily had every reason to sleep this much after what she’d been through and needed the rest to heal. JJ looked at the clock and it was already 1 pm but she decided to not wake up Emily and head to the shower. She realized she hadn’t showered in three days and felt gross. After carefully getting out of bed so as to not wake Emily she immediately turned on the shower to as hot as possible. When she stepped in the water was so hot it was burning her skin. Feeling something other than the pain in her chest came as a relief so she let the water continue to seethe on her skin causing her arms to turn red. Another great thing about the shower was that the sound of the water would cover up the sounds of her crying if Emily did happen to wake up. She just felt SO MUCH. The pain of realizing that she would soon permanently be saying goodbye to Emily, the pain of realizing that she was in love with Emily and would never be able to tell her, and the pain of realizing she could no longer deny that she wasn’t straight. 

JJ’s family raised her extremely religious - church every sunday, youth group every wednesday night sort of thing. In the form of christianity she was raised with being a homosexual was not okay.. NEVER okay. She always felt different from the other girls in her youth group. At the week long bible camp for high schoolers each summer, all of the girls in her cabin would gossip and giggle about the older “hot” male counselors but she never felt the same way as them. The male counselors were attractive but they didn’t give her that butterflies feeling she always read about in books. She would talk with them about the men she found attractive so she could feel included, knowing that she didn’t experience the same sense of giddiness as they did. JJ never dated much in high school and used the excuse of wanting a college scholarship and that she was too busy. Her hard work paid off and she received a full scholarship to her top choice university and spent her freshman year using studying as an excuse not to pursue a romantic relationship. However, her sophomore year of college she met Matthew. Matthew was everything her parents would want in her future husband: pre-law, went to church every sunday, and handsome. She wanted to make her parents and family happy, so she gave Matt a chance. Her family would never approve of her marrying a woman so she tried her hardest to develop feelings for Matt and just couldn’t. After JJ and Matthew ended their relationship senior year she started to allow herself to meet women with the restriction that it could only be for the night. Her internalized homophobia never allowed her to develop actual romantic feelings for a woman and she gave up hope as to ever falling truly in love. Coming out to her extremely religious family seemed impossible so she joined the bureau and eventually the BAU so that she could find fulfillment in work since she would never get married. The plan was working, she was very happy with her life and too busy to care about her lack of personal life, until a few years after she joined the BAU in walked Emily Prentiss. 

The hot water eventually ran cold. JJ had no idea how long she had been in the shower shifting between dissociation and flashbacks to her memories with Emily. She got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel only to realize she forgot to bring a change of clothes into the bathroom with her. JJ shyly stepped out of the bathroom hoping that Emily would still be asleep so she could grab clean sweatpants without being seen. As soon as she reached her go bag she heard Emily grumble “how long have I been asleep for”. Emily opened her eyes to see JJ wearing nothing but a towel. JJ responded “shit” but instinctively tried to cross her arms causing her towel to fall completely off. “I’m not looking” Emily shouted putting a pillow over her face as soon as it happened even though she definitely saw JJ completely naked. "Fuck Emily just saw me NAKED" JJ thought. Emily couldn’t see anything but she could hear JJ quickly shuffling through her bag and getting dressed. “You didn’t have to suffocate yourself with a pillow Em it's my bad for being clumsy, I’m dressed now”. The brunette was still really groggy from the pain, flight, and long sleep and responded “as I much as I would love to see you naked I don’t want to in this context”. “What do you mean?” JJ asked. Emily was mortified she said that, the pain killers must be making her brain foggier than she thought. She decided to cover her tracks by saying “don’t… I meant I didn’t want to see you naked”. 

There was an awkward long silence for a couple minutes before JJ changed the subject. “Are you hungry? There’s a deli across the street I could get us some sandwiches from”. “I feel bad for asking you to go alone. I’m just in too much pain to get out of bed today.” “I understand Em, that’s what I’m here for, to take care of you.” “You’re the best JJ”. Shortly after JJ was out the door and Emily’s heart sank. She always hated having to separate from JJ even though it was always guaranteed to see each other the next day since they worked together after all. The days they didn’t have to work JJ and Emily were still inseparable and spent almost every weekend or day off together. Emily knew that JJ leaving for sandwiches wasn’t the final goodbye. She felt pathetic for having been a lesbian stereotype of catching feelings for her straight best friend and that she missed her so much when she was simply leaving for half an hour to get food. Those feelings became compounded with misery when the harsh reality that in two weeks she would have to say goodbye to JJ for the very last time. Emily felt like half of her heart was missing anytime she wasn’t with JJ. The pain in her abdomen was vastly overpowered by the pain of having to spend the rest of her life knowing that she had met her soulmate and was too scared to tell her the truth until it was too late. Emily always felt as though confessing her feelings to JJ and possibly losing their friendship was too much of a risk. Now, laying in a hotel room with a fake passport on the nightstand she began to think that she was wrong. At least if she had told JJ earlier she would never have to wonder her whole life about what could be and even if she got rejected she would actually be able to move on and stop comparing every woman she met to the beautiful blonde. JJ was in Paris solely to help take care of her. That didn't stop Emily from fantasizing about this being their honeymoon suite as she began to drift back into sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first couple chapters I'm trying to build a backstory and lead up to what I have planned for the second half. I hope you are enjoying the story so far and there will be more actual interaction in future chapters :)


	5. 12 Days Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and JJ cuddle before having their first dinner out in Paris.

Emily was the first to wake up this morning. The sun beaming through the windows indicated that her and JJ had slept in late again. When we looked at the clock it was noon, so at least not as late as yesterday. After JJ came back with the sandwiches they mostly ate in silence. There was way too much on Emily’s mind to attempt conversation. Everything she had thought about when JJ was gone made it hard to keep eye contact with her. JJ had asked her if she was upset with her and she kept insisting no. Unfortunately, her inability to come up with an excuse for her melancholy behavior only seemed to confirm JJ’s suspicion that she was upset. Emily was never one to talk about her feelings but she knew she should. Especially since she woke up from a night terror to JJ crying and shaking her last night to try to wake her up. She had dreamt of being held captive by Doyle again and the team had come to rescue her, exactly what had happened only a few days prior. In her dream however, JJ was the first to arrive and as soon as she kissed Emily a bullet went straight through her heart and she was dead before Emily could get the chance to say “I love you” in return. JJ had died without ever knowing that Emily loved her, loved her more than anything and everything in the world. Reliving the trauma of the past few days in her dreams was bad enough but that disturbing addition to the flashback made it a million times worse. Her subconscious was playing a sick joke because the dream wasn’t far from reality. With the work that the BAU did, JJ could die each and every time they took a case, even if it wasn’t at the hands of Doyle. If Emily let’s JJ leave in a few days without expressing her true feelings her nightmare has a high chance of becoming a reality. When JJ finally was able to wake her up last night she asked Emily if she wanted to talk about her dream. Emily wasn’t about to tell her the whole truth so she just murmured “Doyle”. Luckily JJ asked no further questions and pulled the brunette into her as “big spoon” and held her while she cried hysterically before falling back asleep. 

Emily tried to get out of bed without disturbing JJ and was unsuccessful. They apparently slept cuddled together all night because when she woke up JJ was still laying directly behind her with an arm wrapped possessively around her waist. When Emily tried to carefully move her arm she heard JJ mutter “nooo” and pull her back in close. JJ must only be half awake because there was no way the blonde realized what she was doing. Much to her surprise JJ spoke again, more awake this time, “lets cuddle a little longer Emily”. WHAT Emily thought. JJ was definitely awake and wanted to cuddle HER. As much as Emily wanted to shower she happily obliged and laid back down while contemplating clasping JJ’s hand. Slowly, she moved her arm under JJ’s but when their hands touched she realized how weird she was being. “Don’t be a fucking creep Prentiss” she thought to herself. Emily went to retract her hand but JJ interlaced their fingers before she got the chance. No words were spoken as they laid there enjoying each other’s company. 

JJ was so happy to be laying next to Emily in their beautiful hotel room. She was mortified when she realized she had said “noooo” out loud instead of inside her head, not knowing how Emily would react. Emily’s face seemed confused with the slightest hint of joy underneath so she went for it and asked her to stay. It wasn’t like wanting to cuddle was blatantly flirting with her best friend. Emily had even almost initiated holding her hand, given JJ had to be the one to go through with it, still Emily is the one who moved her hand right under JJ’s. JJ started to completely over analyze the situation. Surely Emily didn’t have the same feelings for her that she did for Emily. Emily was the outwardly confident lesbian of the two and could pick up a woman at a bar with ease. If Emily had feelings for her, Emily would have said so. Would she? JJ wasn’t sure. JJ had always overly assured her that she was comfortable with Emily’s sexualtiy but never came out herself. JJ wasn’t out to anyone and something about any other person in the world knowing her secret would make it too real, even if that person was her best friend. Maybe if JJ had come out to Emily earlier things would be much different now. She has tried dropping hints and flirting with Emily before hoping she would notice. She then realized how subtle hints meant nothing if the woman thought she was straight as an arrow. JJ started contemplating if she should tell her best friend that she was gay. That would be a starting point for the much harder conversation of “hey I’ve been in love with you for years now” thing. The thought of discussing both of those topics made her heart start to race and she prayed that Emily couldn’t feel JJ’s heart beating out of her chest on her back. 

The women laid there together in comfortable silence for another hour until they were disturbed by JJ’s phone buzzing. “That’s probably Hotch” said JJ. Emily nodded and groaned while sitting up. “I’ll go shower while you talk to him” she responded. “I don’t want to get up but I probably do need to answer his call” JJ responded with a smile. Emily went towards her bag to grab a change of clothes and teasingly said “we don’t want another towel incident like yesterday” with a wink before heading into the shower. JJ was stunned by that comment and stood there for a second processing if Emily was flirting with her or just trying to tease. “Don’t be stupid JJ she roasts everyone constantly” she thought. She then grabbed her phone and stepped out onto the balcony to call Hotch. 

H: “Hello Jennifer”  
J: “Hey Hotch, sorry we were still sleeping”  
H: “No problem, you both need the rest. I was just calling to see how she’s doing”  
J: “She’s doing okay, she is healing faster than I expected and hasn’t seemed to be taking things too hard emotionally outside of a nightmare”  
H: “Probably because she’s with you”  
J: “What do you mean?’  
H: “Emily has always been more cheerful around you”  
J: “She has that effect on me as well”  
H: “That’s why I sent you”  
J: “Thank you for letting me come”  
H: “I hope you get the answers you need”  
J: “What answers?”  
H: “I have to go we have a case, please check in with me in a couple days”  
J: “Okay… goodbye”

When JJ hung up the phone she was confused, a common theme for this trip. What did Hotch mean by answers? Hotch was never one to imply things, always saying directly what we meant. She didn’t have the chance to dissect the conversation because as soon as she stepped back inside from the patio Emily walked out of the bathroom. She was wearing an oversized golden yellow hoodie and black lounge shorts. Her dark locks had been towel dried and beautifully gathered around the fabric of the hood. She looked absolutely beautiful. JJ and Emily always roomed together during cases so she’s seen Emily in casual clothing before, not to mention all their weekend hangouts outside of work. So this wasn’t the first time she had seen Emily so casually, except this was the first time she realized just how completely breathless Emily’s stunning looks made her. “Why are you staring? Did Hotch say something bad?” Emily asked. JJ didn’t know how long she had stood there staring, soaking in Emily’s beauty. “Oh no, I guess I’m just hungry?” JJ responded almost trying to convince herself more than Emily. “Thank god because I’m starving too. Want to go for a walk and find something to eat around here?”. JJ was relieved there were no further questions, “are you sure you feel up to it?”. “I think some fresh air and exercise will do me good, besides you know I go crazy sitting around all day”. JJ smiled in agreement, “I’ll change and we can head out then”. 

……………………….

“It’s amazing how with all the years I’ve spent in this city and dozens of other cities around the world, I still always find Paris so…” Emily turned to face JJ, “beautiful”. As soon as she said beautiful she quickly broke eye contact and faced back towards the streets. The way Emily turned to JJ to say that last word made JJ almost feel as though she was talking about her and not the city, but that would be silly of her to think. Emily definitely didn’t have feelings for JJ and she really needed to stop getting her hopes up. JJ decided to try to reciprocate and see what would happen. “Yes, everything I’m seeing is absolutely beautiful” she stated while making eye contact with Emily and smiling. This caused Emily to blush, JJ rarely ever saw Emily blush which made those dumb hopeful feelings come back again. Soon after they found a cute cafe to eat dinner at and were seated on the patio. Dinner was amazing, it was the first time they had left the hotel with the exception of JJ picking up sandwiches the day before. JJ was eating dinner in a charming city with the most charming woman she had ever met and couldn’t be happier. Emily seemed pretty content as well and enjoyed showing off her French in front of JJ. JJ had no idea what Emily and the server were saying the entire night, but watching her speak in French had her gushing like a teenage girl. She hoped Emily couldn't notice the obvious heart eyes she had the entire night. The two of them had so much fun and were constantly laughing as was the case anytime they hung out together and the food Emily had ordered for her was delicious. After they finished eating and Emily was paying the bill the server said something that made Emily have that same pink blush she had from the walk over. Emily was shaking her head no and smiling which was all JJ could interpret. 

As they walked home JJ asked, “what did the server say before we left that had you blushing so hard? spill”. Emily hesitated slightly at first before admitting “she said we make a beautiful couple”. Now JJ was the one blushing. They giggled about it for a little bit before Emily continued “I assured her that you were just a friend and very straight” with a chuckle. JJ faked a laugh while thinking “I really need to tell Emily”. A few minutes later they were back in the hotel. The outing had Emily exhausted since she was still recovering from her injuries so she went to sleep as soon as they returned. JJ wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep yet so she sent a quick text to Hotch: “what did you mean by answers?”. She normally wouldn’t interact with her boss in such a casual way but that statement had been eating at her all night. With the time difference and the fact that he was currently on case, JJ didn’t expect a response immediately so she distracted herself with some sudoku before joining Emily in bed an hour later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping the chapters will get longer as I continue to write. I have a major plot points planned for the story and I hope you are enjoying it so far! Comments/feedback are much appreciated :)


	6. 11 Days Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ over analyzed her conversation with Hotch and Emily starts to open up.

8:42 AM  
H: I apologize for saying that, I usually do not try to get involved in my team’s personal lives - especially when it comes to interpersonal affairs. Disregard.

J: Tell me.

The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared several times, indicating that Hotch was trying to find the right words to say.

H: All I will say is that my biggest regret in life is not having the chance to tell Haley how much she meant to me before she died. There are so many things I wish I had told her in the last few months that I withheld thinking it would make things too complicated after our marriage ended.

J: I really am sorry about Haley, Aaron 

H: Don’t make the same mistakes I did. You would be surprised how bad profilers are when it comes to their feelings about each other, I learned that myself recently.

J: Oh?

H: Back to the case.

Well, that was unexpected, JJ thought to herself. Did Hotch know? Did everyone know?..... Did EMILY know? She had given Emily hints, very subtle hints, that she wanted to be more than friends but was always cautious to do so only outside of work. Something must have given it away to Hotch though and she was curious who else knew. JJ was vigilant about suppressing her feelings even outside of work but somehow something still gave it away. Working with profilers sucks somethings, she thought to herself. It literally could be anything and something as small as the tilt of the head could tip the whole team off that she was in love with Emily. Hiding your thoughts and mood around profilers really is impossible, the team could detect the subconscious thoughts of an unsub after meeting them for five minutes so surely they could detect the extremely conscious thoughts of her daydreaming about marrying Emily after interacting with the two of them daily. JJ wondered why she had never worried about this before. Her anxiety mostly involved how to tell Emily her feelings without ever considering the possibility that someone who analyzes human thoughts and behavior professionally would be able to detect that her best friend was in love with her. But if Emily already knew, she would have told JJ if the feelings were reciprocated and since Emily never made a romantic gesture her feelings for JJ must be simply platonic. Since Hotch was able to tell that JJ had feelings for Emily, he would be able to tell that Emily did not reciprocate. So why would Hotch want her to confess her feelings to Emily just to get rejected? Hotch experienced his fair share of rejection when he started dating after Haley and would never encourage JJ to say something knowing she would just get rejected. Perhaps he detected that Emily had feelings for her too? 

JJ’s thoughts were racing overanalyzing everything over and over playing a “loves me, loves me not” game with every sentence the woman had ever said to her. She was so buried in her complicated thoughts she didn’t realize that she audibly groaned while rubbing her face with her hands. “I can tell you're beating yourself up over something in that head of yours Jureau, want to talk about it?” Emily asked. Emily was still sleeping beside her when JJ was awakened by Hotch’s text message and JJ had no idea how long she had been watching her contemplate. JJ wanted to talk about it, need to talk about it, but when she opened her mouth no words came out. She was given the perfect lead in the conversation and the days were going by fast. Yet all she could get herself to say was “stress”. Emily placed her hand on JJ’s cheek, pressed their foreheads together, and simply responded “I understand, I will miss you too”. JJ’s eyes were looking downward and moved upward to meet Emily’s. Their faces were so close together, mere centimeters being away from their lips embracing and her heart began to race. It took every ounce of self control she had to straddle Emily’s lap and kiss the other woman. The proximity was becoming too much for JJ, so she pulled back faster than she intended. “I’m so sorry for invading your space” Emily said in a stressful tone. She then proceeded to immediately get out of bed and head towards the bathroom. JJ should have followed her and told her that she wasn’t upset with Emily for pressing their foreheads together. JJ should have done anything to reassure the brunette that she didn’t dislike being that close and the problem was that it was the exact opposite, she loved being that close to the point where not becoming closer was unbearable. Instead, she just sat there frozen.

When Emily entered the bathroom she was filled with both anger and sadness. She was angry with herself for making a move on JJ while also being sad that JJ clearly did not reciprocate her feelings. It was so infuriatingly stupid for her to even entertain the idea that JJ had romantic feelings for her. She put her dark locks into a ponytail and turned the water on as cold as possible. Emily was about to start crying and she hated showing emotion normally, especially if the emotion is embarrassment from being rejected by her best friend. She began to wash her face with the cold water and it was grounding. The biting chill of the water helped ground her and take her back from the edge of a panic attack. After she finished washing her face she started back into her reflection in the mirror. She hadn’t spent much time looking at herself since Doyle, most of her energy and focus being on enjoying her last few days with JJ as Emily Prentiss. The dark circles under her eyes were not as bad as she expected them to be, besides the nightmare from the previous night, Emily found herself sleeping so well next to JJ on the jet and in their bed last night. Her most notable residual mark from the event was her abdominal wound. She had to receive several stitches in her abdomen and the wound was covered with a thick layer of bandages that could be seen through her sleep shirt. Her legs were badly bruised, arms cut up, and her fingernails still had the remnants of Doyle’s skin from scratching at him to let her go. That thought that some of his DNA was still a part of her made her skin crawl. She felt her heart start to race at the thought and wanted to leave her reflection as fast as possible, but entering back into the room would mean facing JJ. Emily couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever, so she took a deep breath and reentered the room. 

She walked out, stood in front of JJ, took a deep inhale and clenched her fists while grimacing, “JJ I’m so -”. “You have nothing to apologize for Em, I don’t know why I acted that way I should have come to you” interrupted JJ. “But I -” protested Emily. “Seriously, it’s me being weird not you, we don’t have to talk about it and I ordered pizza while you were in the bathroom that should be here in half an hour”. Part of Emily really wanted to explain herself and talk about it, while a much larger part of herself was glad she didn’t have to have that awkward conversation. When she finally softened her expression and relaxed her shoulders, nonverbally signaling that she agreed to drop the conversation, JJ brought her into a tight embrace. The women stood there hugging each other for the longest time not wanting to let go. Emily was surprised how much physical contact with JJ she allowed herself to have during this trip. Her defenses were normally so high around JJ partially because she didn’t want JJ to be uncomfortable and partially because she knew that once she had any form of contact with JJ her feelings would only become more intense and harder to hide. Hugging JJ was just… magical and made her desire to kiss her stronger than it had ever been. Fortunately, JJ pulled back while leaving her arms around Emily, “I also saw that the newest season of Love Island is recorded on the TV so I was thinking we could lay in bed eating pizza and binge watching the show the rest of the day?” JJ proposed with a smile. “That sounds wonderful” Emily replied with the biggest grin on her face and the two of them climbed back into their wonder king sized bed. 

…………………………………………………

Despite the awkward start to the day, the rest of the day was amazing. JJ and Emily ate pizza and had made it through the first 10 episodes of the season by nighttime. Both of them were enjoying all of the interrupted quality time together without the threat of being called away on a case. Emily realized she hadn’t checked her phone since leaving America. Then again, everyone she cared about thought she was dead so no one would be contacting her anyways. Emily had never stopped to let that sink in, how much pain every person she cared about must be in. She started to think about how she would react if she was on the other side of things, how she would feel if Spencer or Morgan or any of the members of the team had died and she started to feel awful. Picturing her team walking by her empty desk every day at work and believing she was horrifying and she began to sob uncontrollably. JJ sat up immediately and pulled her into her arms, “Emily what’s going on?”. “I just started thinking about how the rest of the team is feeling right now…. Am I the worst person ever?” Emily could barely get the words out because she was starting to hyperventilate. “Emily, you did what you had to do to stay alive. No one would want for Doyle to get to you, if they ever found out they would understand” JJ said in the most soothing way possible while stroking her fingers through Emily’s hair. JJ could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Emily cry and she wasn’t just crying she was sobbing and having trouble breathing.   
J: “Emily I need you to take deep breaths for me and remind yourself that none of this is your fault”.   
E: “I shouldn’t have gone after him by myself… I’m so infuriatingly stupid… and now I’m going to lose you”   
J: “Emily, Doyle is an evil man and there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. You were protecting a child, and that makes you one of the most selfless people I know. I care about you so much that I’m willing to lose you to keep you safe”  
E: “I just can’t stop thinking about him and I feel like his skin is still under my fucking fingernails. It’s been days and I feel like he is still all over me”  
J: “That’s completely normal Emily” she cupped Emily’ face with both hands so they were staring directly into each other’s eyes, “I promise I will not stop until I find him so you can come home”  
E: “I don’t expect you to do that JJ, I want you to move on and be happy and there are a million other unsubs that you need to chase”  
J: “I could never move on”  
At this point both women were crying too hard to carry on the conversation. They laid back down intertwined together and cried while holding each other until both had fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/feedback/suggestions are always appreciated!


	7. 10 Days Left: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ plans a spa day for Emily. 
> 
> Also there is a reference to the song "i wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red that I hinted at in a previous chapter.

JJ woke up and immediately felt the warmth of Emily’s body against her skin. They were both laying on their sides with JJ cupped closely behind Emily’s body. JJ’s arm was wrapped tightly around her chest while her head lay in the crevice of Emily’s shoulder. It felt… amazing. She wanted to stay wrapped around Emily as long as possible and bask in the feeling but last night she had come up with a plan. She wanted to do something to make Emily feel better and show how much she cared. The previous night Emily had mentioned feeling Doyle under her fingernails and JJ had an idea to help fix that. Moving carefully so as to not wake the other woman, JJ stepped out of bed and immediately changed into jeans and a top. Using the hotel notepad she wrote a message “went to run an errand, be back soon XO JJ” and left it on the nightstand for her to find when she woke up. 

About two hours later the other woman woke up and rolled onto her back. As soon as she did so she realized JJ was no longer in bed with her. Although it had only been less than a week since arriving in Paris, waking up alone seemed so strange and saddening. “This is going to be what it's like forever in a few days” Emily thought to herself. She instantly felt a tightness in her chest and tears started to come to her eyes because of the thought and sat up as to try to bury her emotions, not knowing whether or not the blonde was in the room and could see her. She started to scan the room for JJ and saw a note laying on the nightstand. The small cursive “XO JJ” at the end caused her emotions to rush to the surface and she couldn’t contain her tears. She started to think about how if things had been different, maybe if she had told JJ she was in love with her years ago or if she hadn’t tried to take down Doyle alone, little XO notes from JJ could have been a regular part of her reality. But now… this was going to be the one and only note from JJ she would ever have. Emily got out of bed and safely hid the note in a small compartment of her suitcase to cherish. It may be the only piece of JJ she has for a really long time if not forever. She was not sure when JJ would return but she needed to shower and replace the gauze on her abdominal wound. After she stepped into the bathroom and removed her clothes to shower she glanced at herself in the mirror again. Her cuts and bruises were not as gnarly appearing as the first time she had looked at herself after the attack, yet you could still tell she had been through hell. She thought about what she would look like if her emotional wounds left the same kinds of markings on her body. Any person could see the markings on her body and be able to speculate accurately the kind of pain she was feeling. But no one would be able to detect the emotional turmoil that was causing her significantly more pain just from looking at her. Emily wondered how many people she interacts with throughout the day are carrying the burden of deep psychological pain that she never would have guessed. With that thought, she stepped into the shower and began to wash her hair. 

JJ arrived back to the hotel room about two and a half hours after leaving that morning carrying several bags. She was pleasantly surprised that she was able to find everything she wanted to make the day special for Emily and she hoped that she would react positively to the gesture. When she keyed back into the room she could hear the shower running, the perfect opportunity to set up the room. JJ hoped that Emily may still be asleep when she returned so she could surprise her, however the few minutes she had left with Emily being in the shower would have to do. She laid a large, soft lavender towel across the bed and a hand towel that matched on the nightstand. She placed an amber and wood scented candle on top of the hand towel and lit it with a match. Next she began to lay out all the instruments needed for a manicure such as a nail file and cuticle trimmer followed by a dark red, almost black nail polish. Once the manicure station was set up she began to set out a variety of snacks on their table with a champagne bucket as the centerpiece. Just as she had finished Emily stepped out of the bathroom in her towel, “what is all of this?”, she asked, looking slightly confused but more so excited. JJ smiled and responded “spa day” while reaching into a bag and throwing a soft fluffy white robe at Emily. 

Emily caught the robe and chuckled while shaking her head and stating “you’re ridiculous”. “The robe is just the start of it, get changed” JJ responded with a wink. Emily obliged by returning to the bathroom and changing into the robe. When she reentered the bedroom JJ also had on a fluffy white robe and she looked absolutely adorable. JJ motioned for her to sit on the towel and Emily did so with the biggest smile. “What do you have planned JJ?” asked Emily. “Well first no spa day is complete without a face mask so I picked up these rose scented ones from the hotel spa” JJ responded while starting to smear pink all over Emily’s face. Emily laughed and jokingly turned her head away, placing her cheek right into JJ’s hand. There was a moment where their eyes met as JJ cupped Emily’s cheek. The blonde stroked her cheek lovingly with so much longing in her heart and eyes. Emily’s face was so close to hers and the way she was looking at JJ made JJ feel as though their souls were connected. JJ only had to move slightly forward and their lips would be touching. She almost let her fantasies get the best of her and abruptly pulled back and returned to covering Emily’s face in the mask. Tracing Emily’s face as she did so was enticing, being able to just look at the other women and study the small details of her face she had never been able to before. Once she was done, JJ moved backward slightly and tilted her head while proclaiming “finished!”. “Then it's my turn then to do your face then?” Emily responded in her typical smirk. 

Before JJ could respond, Emily stood up, grabbed JJ by the shoulders, twirled her around, and playfully pushed her onto the bed where she had been sitting moments prior. Emily was careful to be gentle with JJ as she was used to throwing around unsubs as hard as possible. JJ seemed surprised by the sudden movement and had something in her eyes that Emily couldn’t read. JJ had a look on her face that Emily had never seen before, it was dark but not in a negative or threatening way. The look in JJ’s eyes that Emily couldn’t decipher was pure lust. The blonde was completely turned on by the way Emily had grabbed her and stood over her afterwards. She wanted nothing more than the other woman to continue by pinning her down so she would be looming over her even more with those sultry brown eyes. JJ’s mind began to wander as Emily started to trace her face with the mask. All she could think about was Emily dominating her and claiming every part of her body. She was so lost in her erotic thoughts that she didn’t even realize that Emily had finished and was looking at her with a puzzled look. “JJ?” Emily’s voice snapped her out of her daydream and she quickly responded “sorry” trying to appear as not flustered as possible. “Thank god I’m wearing a face mask so Emily can’t see how much I’m blushing” JJ thought. Fortunately, Emily didn’t question JJ as she was distracted by discovering the food and champagne on the table. Emily showed no hesitation in immediately popping the bottle and pouring both of them a glass. “What should we cheers to?” JJ asked. “To us” Emily proclaimed while wrapping her arm around JJ’s shoulder and pulling her into a side hug. Both women enjoyed the embrace for a few moments before JJ grabbed Emily’s hand and pulled her back to the bed and gestured for her to sit on the towel. 

J: “Next I want to give you a manicure and I picked out a color I think you will love”  
E: “I was wondering why there was a towel on the bed”  
J: “I figured Hotch would kill us if he had a bill for a nail polish stain on this expensive bedding”  
E: “Fair, I didn’t even think about that” she laughed   
J: “I hope you’re okay with a color called “vampire red””  
E: “I think I would be more that okay with that, you know me so well”  
J: “Well you are my best friend”  
E: “You really didn’t have to do all of this”  
J: “Em, don’t worry about it I really wanted to”  
JJ then begins to work on Emily’s hands  
E: “What made you think of this?”  
J: “Last night…” she said with slight hesitation “last night you mentioned feeling Doyle constantly under your nails and I thought this might help”  
E: “Oh… that’s thoughtful of you”  
J: “Do you want to talk about it some more?”  
E: “Him, no. You, Yes”   
J: “What about me?” JJ responded anxiously  
E: “I know you’ve been doing a lot to take care of me these past couple days and I hope you know how much I appreciate you and care for you. I care for you more than any other person”  
J: “I had to come to Paris with you, Em. It was a no brainer for me. I needed time to say goodbye”  
E: “You are going to be the hardest goodbye, I hope you know that Jennifer”  
J: “I do now”   
JJ looked up to meet Emily’s eyes and she could see in them just how much the brunette cared for her. Although JJ felt as though Emily would never care for her the same way she felt for Emily, because obviously Emily wasn’t in love with her, JJ still felt comfort in knowing that Emily cared for her as much as possible in a platonic way. Her chest began to ache at the idea of saying goodbye to the love of her life so she decided to look back down and continue painting the other woman’s nails while changing the conversation to something lighter. 

JJ finished painting Emily’s nails and they remained sitting next to each other on the bed. Emily insisted that they have another glass of champagne and more snacks. JJ stopped Emily from reaching into a bowl of strawberries insisting her nails weren’t dry enough and would get ruined. “What are you going to do, feed me then?” Emily mocked. JJ responded by shoving a strawberry into her mouth and both of them started laughing so hard she almost spit it back out. Once her nails dried, Emily was her typical self and immediately pulled out her phone to open spotify. They both had two more glasses of champagne and were almost drunk at this point so it took her a couple tries to unlock her phone, especially with how long it had been since she used it. “Any song requests?” Emily asked. JJ really wanted to hear the song that reminded her of Emily that she wanted to ask about for months. She never did in fear of outing herself but the alcohol made her feel bold so she responded “I want that song you played a few months earlier by the lesbian artist”. “Half of my music is by lesbian artisits I’m going to need more specifics” joked Emily. “The song goes like “I don’t wanna be your friend I wanna kiss your lips””. “Oh I know exactly which song you’re talking about”. Moments later the song was filling the hotel room. A few lyrics in Emily twisted her face and asked “why did you remember this song from so long ago and why did you like it enough to ask about it?”. “Shit” thought JJ, but again alcohol was known to cause JJ to lose her filter. “It’s relatable”. “A woman singing about having a crush on her female best friend?” asked Emily, now even more confused. JJ just responded with a simple “yep” and continued dancing around the room until Emily cut the music. “Do we need to talk about anything?” Emily questioned, now with a softer and warmer look on her face. JJ sternly responded “no” to which Emily tilted her head. “Yes” JJ blurted out before she could regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get the first part of this "day" out so I'm splitting it into two chapters (deviating from my standard one day = one chapter structure). Please leave comments/suggestions!


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